Monday, October 26, 2009

homecoming

JEri had homecoming on Saturday night. It was her first date/first dance. She was so beautiful. I found a dark chocolate brown dress a few weeks back and bought that it fit her perfectly. We found a very cute headband on Etsy that complimented the dress perfectly and it took me 5 shops to find some footless nylons to go with her dress so she could wear some bronze beaded sandals with her dress....and while getting her ready all I could think of was meeting her the first time, she was 7 and how much she has grown and how fast the time has gone and how hard it is to let her go on her first date. I cried off and on until she left ...my heart wanted to leap after her but I let her date's mom take her away from me. She went to Michael's in Moses Lake for dinner and then on to the dance. When she came home at midnight she was floating and told me all about her dancing, what she ordered for dinner, and how everyone complimented her on how pretty she was...and tears swelled up again because it was true..she was absolutely beautiful.
Jeri's date was a nice boy that she met last summer during the church program and you know how freshman boys are right? The boy came to the door to pick up Jeri and she looked about 25 with her "sisters" and the make-up I had adorned her with and here comes this poor boy he looked about 12. But the sweetest guy around and very polite and thoughtful. He had brought chocolates for me and 2 different corsages for Jeri to choose from. Rob embarassed all of us...telling the boy not to piss him off?? what the heck? This boy is a dream come true for parents he was literally shaking from nerves and scared to death of Gracie the dog? Gracie is scared of everyone and runs with her tail between her legs if a strangers bends down to pet her? seriously. So anyway it was a success and I hope all future parents of her dates are this easy to work with and up to this type of standard.

SO another step towards my children growing up to fast and me trying to accept it.
but what a great night for Jeri ( and me).

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Some things to remember.....

ON Saturday night Rob and I went on a date...wooowooo that in itself is a miracle and we had a great time had dinner and saw "Couples Retreat" it was funny. Anyway we had 2 extra boys here and also Jeri's best friend Sammy was here for the night as well. When I got home the kids were all watching a movie and poor Clarissa is wondering because she is not interested in what they are watching and she seems to be left out of those things because she is younger.
I went downstairs and she brought her new card making kit (thanks to Donna who gave it to us!..complete with glitter glue and everything..just what she loves!) I put on the tunes and I started sewing Clarissa was making cards and it felt very comfortable, like we just were in sync. I asked her if she liked the music ..she looked at me nodded yes and we went about our business. Last week we were working on her own sewing machine but she wanted to make cards this night.
Clarissa was making cards to give to people because she can't seem to make something that has no purpose...she is so much like me:) So she made a few for me and Rob and then she made a book for us. One of the pages says I love mommys cooking and then she wrote I love daddy , daddy is funny. Bryce came down at that time and said " The jury is still out on that one" poor Rob..lol.
As soon as Bryce came down and saw what Clarissa was doing he sat down right beside her and started making a card. Here the 7th grader and the 1st grader working side by side, it warmed my heart. Clarissa was showing him what she was doing and he was interested. Then as if a memo went out... one by one every boy came down and started working on cards....taking over Clarissa's station. She was willing to share because above everyone else in our house Clarissa....worships " The brothers" as she calls them.

A few weeks ago when school started for me things got crazy because I had started working 2 weeks before, and Rob got a promotion at work so he has been having to work crazy hours and he also had to leave for training in Portland for a week, so I had my girlfriends helping me take kids to soccer and football and other kid activities.. During this time Clarissa was insufferable, would not listen to the kids and when Rob was home late at night she was throwing fits and talking back to him so much so that one night he spanked her..which is the first time he has ever done that to her...not to mention we agreed not to practice corporal punishment on our kids..anyway, I decided that night I would talk to her....I know exactly what she needs because she is so much like me it is scary...I pulled her into my lap and told her that this is just a crazy time right now and that she needs to listen to her brothers and sister and that all the craziness would end soon...it wont stay like this and I explained why things were happening..as soon as she knew the chaos was not going to stick around and that there would be an end..she was back to her old self. Until recently I knew Clarissa and I were somewhat alike but until lately I didn't realize how much she and I really are alike and it is good on one hand because I can help her when need be but also scary because you never want your children to suffer from your same insecurities or weakness'...I keep trying to tell myself that maybe I can just make everything better for her....but as I already know alot of times the things we suffer from our kids pick up on that...I have already recognized some of that in my other children.

Some other things to remember:

School is temporary...family is not....

taking time to bake a cake helps keep my kids happy....

Date night is important for me and Rob..it has set up our whole week...and we are both smiling more.

Don't forget the simple things in life..

We have a little boy that has been hanging at our house and I kept wondering why he was staying so late and he is here all the time. Finally the kids told me he is here because he likes being here his mom leaves out of town most days of the week and leaves him and his brother with a drunk babysitter..that doesn't seem to care where he is and so he stays with us until my kids bedtime. I told this little guy that he could stay with us any night because we have 2 extra beds.( I really want to call his mom but I don't know the "Real" story and I am not judging I just want the kids to be safe...so I am going to pray about it before I call and just offer to let them stay here if she needs them to..rather than with someone who is not caring what they do ) ON Sunday night we were getting ready to have Sunday dinner ...he was here and I called the kids up to dinner. Suddenly Rob says we need another place setting and chair..this boy was eating with us. After he left home Rob told me that the boy was standing in the doorway and Rob had asked him if he wanted to eat with us..the boy looked up at Rob and said "really?...nobody else has ever asked me to stay for dinner they always tell me to go home." That makes me cry for so many reasons..that guy ate like he had never had such a great meal before ...I am thankful for so many reasons....
1. that my husband didn't think twice about inviting him
2. that we can always provide a meal for our family and we always have room for one more..thank you to God!
3. That my home is a safe place for him and anyone else
4. That I have such great kids to allow this to happen in my home
5. So many things to be thankful for....I am so blessed. I love being used as a vessel for God!