Creative Carl

I have this most amazingly creative child..that is so unsure of himself..he is always so afraid of everything. Carl is the easiest child to get along with he is so afraid of any tension that he stays constantly under the radar. You know when something is bothering him..he starts to studder, his eyes start to squint shut for the tears and you can almost see the uncertainty in his body.

Carl refuses to do homework yet he scores so high on all of his tests that it is hard to get mad at him ..other than the fact that he can't be so lazy..( he is so much like his father ..it is spooky!) I had a hard time punishing Carl for such a long time ( we are talking years..I know..I know ..it was bad, I still punished him.... it took me awhile) because he has such a wounded look on his face all of the time..but I had to get over it because he started getting a bit sassy and he would walk away from me and do the opposite of what I told him...I know again..this was my fault..but I have made the change. I get so frustrated with him at times because he is this way..but then..I see him in his LIGHT.....


Carl is artful and soulful if you look and listen...on top of that he is getting some of the "systems" as I say it.....he will organize things sometimes and come up with patterns and faster ways to accomplish things..which is what I do ..so I love that he is getting some of my OCD issues..( I am not sure I should be proud of this in any other case ..other than he is so much like Rob and his future wife will appreciate this). I also love art..it was my dream as a youth ..so to see that Carl has these talents ..warms my heart.


Carl will read poetry for longer periods of time than he is assigned and he will spend a little extra time drawing pictures and he sees things that others don't see and I love that about him. HE will often catch me off guard with some of his strategies..and I will have to honor them just for the sheer cleverness of his mind....His imagination is endless.....Just as his insecurities..I wonder if he will ever become secure in any situation....that is my biggest fear for him.

HE and I had a talk about his fears..and I told him since he has God in his heart he has nothing to fear...at the time i didn't know how dear he would take this to heart...you never know how children react to the things you say...and we talked about a night mare a few months back..he told me ---

" Mom, I just did what you told me, I prayed."
I said " Did it work?"
Carl said " I fell right back to sleep."

I am glad he listened and that his faith is strengthening and all I can do is hope that I can use as much faith as he in my everyday struggles to keep him safe and make him feel secure.
God will protect him and use these fears for something good along with with special talents.